This last week has been a haze. I don't know when I last slept so little. College, probably.
Part of me is angry I haven't used this time for smth productive. (I haven't done anything else besides reading and thinking of Fifty Shades. But that's another post.)
Part of me is so pleased to know I can still do this. I can still go without sleep for 24 hours.
On Monday evening I took a train to Cluj for the first time since November. I went to see a band that, if I'm not mistaken, I had discovered back in my MySpace days. The Raveonettes. Seeing them all these years later - it's somewhat bittersweet. It feels like it's a bit too late. At The Shelter (yet another first), I was glad I could find a good wallflowering wall, and I had a good view as well. I was already so tired, had a headache, and was worried I wouldn't really enjoy the concert. But by the end: it was exactly what I needed. I was right next to some speakers and I could feel the sound vibrating through my body. Plus the blinding artificial light bathing my face - white, red, blue, green, yellow. And during the encore - always the most intense moment of a concert - I finally danced like I meant it. Being bone-tired, letting go (a bit), the music - the feeling was intoxicating. I didn't even wash my hair that night because I wanted to still smell the cigarette smoke impregnated in it. I wanted to have at least an olfactory memory of the concert to hold on to all throughout Tuesday, at that THING that is making me so miserable. Maybe this is the buzz from Fifty Shades speaking but: going to a concert in Cluj on a weeknight made me feel like a naughty schoolgirl. After all, I'm an eternal teenager. Recharge & Revolt.